20 Funny Things to Bring on a Deserted Island

Let’s be honest—if you ever find yourself stranded on a deserted island, you’re probably not going to pack rationally. I mean, sure, water and food are great. A survival kit? Obvious. But where’s the fun in being practical when you’re stuck alone, talking to coconuts?

That’s why I started thinking about all the funny things to bring on a deserted island. Not the kind of things you’d find on a “top 10 survival essentials” list. No, I mean things that would make the absurd situation even more ridiculous. Because sometimes, when life goes full chaos, the only thing left to do is laugh.

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Ever imagine setting up a karaoke machine in the middle of nowhere? Or packing a tuxedo just in case the local crabs throw a formal event? Exactly. That’s the kind of humor I’m talking about.

And sure, some might say it’s foolish, but let’s flip that script: laughter is survival too. Sanity matters. Besides, what better way to cope with a deserted island than having the most ridiculous suitcase of useless items imaginable?

So, if you’re ever headed to a deserted island (on purpose or not), here are 20 funny things to bring. You won’t survive longer, but you will die laughing.

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1. A life-size cardboard cutout of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Because every deserted island needs a fearless protector. And I’d need someone to argue with when the silence gets awkward.

2. A karaoke machine with only ’80s love ballads

There’s nothing quite like belting out “Total Eclipse of the Heart” while cooking coconuts. Island concerts would be nightly.

3. A treadmill

No electricity. No gym. But hey, gotta keep the beach body in shape. I’d just use it as a table, honestly.

4. A box of fortune cookies

I’d open one each day hoping for a message like, “Help is on the way.” Spoiler: It never says that.

5. A ventriloquist dummy

Because talking to yourself is fine. But talking through a puppet? Way more entertaining.

6. Glow-in-the-dark socks

Completely unnecessary, but helpful when you want to look stylish under the moonlight.

7. A rubber chicken

No explanation needed. The squeak alone could break a panic attack. And it’s great company.

8. A snow globe

To remind myself of what seasons used to feel like. Also, something oddly satisfying about shaking snow while sweating in the tropics.

9. A whoopee cushion

Comedy gold never dies. Even if I do. Every coconut deserves to sit on one.

10. A “World’s Best Boss” mug

For sipping imaginary coffee with pride each morning. Even if the coffee is just rainwater.

11. A wedding dress

Because if I’m going to go insane, I might as well do it in style. Maybe I’ll marry a palm tree.

12. A pack of googly eyes

Stick them on coconuts. Now you’ve got friends. Some might even look suspicious. Drama begins.

13. A glow stick rave kit

Throw solo raves under the stars. Who says isolation has to be boring?

14. A toy megaphone

For shouting to passing planes… or just yelling at the ocean when it mocks you.

15. A single ski

Not two. Just one. Because if you ever find a lake, you want to almost waterski.

16. A DVD of “Cast Away”

You haven’t lived until you’ve watched Tom Hanks survive an island while sitting on your own island. Layers.

17. A disco ball

Nothing makes a shelter feel like home quite like some sparkly chaos hanging from the ceiling of driftwood.

18. Fake mustaches

New day, new identity. Keep things fresh. Plus, coconut Ted looks fabulous with facial hair.

19. A banana costume

You haven’t known pure joy until you’ve sprinted down the shore dressed as produce.

20. A large sign that says “Definitely NOT a Deserted Island”

Because maybe, just maybe, a confused rescue team will pass by and think you’re already safe.

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So what’s the point of packing funny things for a deserted island?

Honestly, it’s not about logic. It’s about laughter. About keeping your spirits alive when everything else feels like it’s falling apart. The truth is, when you’re alone and everything’s out of control, having a ridiculous item like a rubber chicken might be the exact thing that saves your mind.

Is it absurd? Yes.
Would I still bring all 20? Without a doubt.

Because at the end of the day, if I ever find myself on a deserted island, I don’t just want to survive.
I want to survive with style, humor, and a cardboard cutout of The Rock by my side.

Now let me ask you:
If you had to choose one thing from this list to pack, which one would it be—and why?