30 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

Marriage isn’t always candlelit dinners and nonstop passion. Over time, routines take over, life gets busy, and that romantic spark you once felt every day might start to flicker. But here’s the truth: spicing up your marriage doesn’t mean starting over. It means re-igniting what’s already there — and yes, it’s absolutely possible.

Have you ever looked at your partner across the dinner table and thought, “We need something more”? I have. It doesn’t mean the love is gone — it just means the energy needs a boost.

• Read our blog on 20 Things to Discuss Before Marriage or 100 Reasons Why Marriage Is a Bad Idea

The good news? You don’t need to take a trip to Paris or spend a fortune to reconnect. Sometimes all it takes is a small shift, a bold move, or a playful nudge to bring the fire back into your marriage.

Below are 30 real, fun, and emotionally intelligent ways to spice up your marriage — physically, emotionally, and romantically. Whether you’re newlyweds or celebrating your 20th anniversary, these ideas can breathe life back into your connection.

💞 Emotional & Intimacy Builders

1. Start dating again
   Go on real dates — get dressed, put your phone away, and flirt.
2. Leave love notes
   A sticky note on the mirror or a message in their lunch goes a long way.
3. Say “thank you” more often
   Gratitude is sexy. Show appreciation, even for the little things.
4. Have long, deep talks
   Not just about bills and kids — talk about your dreams, your past, your future.
5. Create a marriage vision board
   Where do you want to go together? What do you want to build?
6. Start a shared journal
   Write messages to each other and pass it back and forth every few days.
7. Revisit your vows
   Read them again or write new ones — remind yourselves of the promises that matter.
8. Take a relationship quiz or game night
   Learn new things about each other, laugh, and even challenge each other.

💋 Physical & Romantic Boosters

9. Kiss longer
   Not a peck — we’re talking slow, intentional, make-you-remember kisses.
10. Try a massage exchange
    Set the scene with oils, music, and dim lights. Then switch roles.
11. Schedule intimacy
    It doesn’t kill the vibe — it builds anticipation.
12. Explore something new together in bed
    It could be as small as a different setting or a new scent. Or something bolder.
13. Take a bath or shower together
    Water, warmth, and no distractions — a great combination.
14. Dress up just for them
    Lingerie, a suit, or even just their favorite outfit on you.
15. Flirt all day through texts
    Build the tension from morning to night.
16. Have a spontaneous make-out session
    No agenda — just chemistry.

🌍 Adventure & Play

17. Take a weekend getaway
    Even one night away from home can reset your connection.
18. Do something that scares you both (a little)
    A rollercoaster, a dance class, a public performance — adrenaline bonds.
19. Start a hobby together
    Gardening, painting, biking — doing things together is intimacy in motion.
20. Cook a sexy meal together
    Try a new recipe, pour some wine, and feed each other bites.
21. Try a couple’s dance class
    Even if you’re bad at it, you’ll be laughing and close the whole time.
22. Take turns planning surprise date nights
    Switch who takes the lead and keep it mysterious.
23. Book a couple’s photo shoot
    Look good, feel good, and have fun capturing your connection.
24. Recreate your first date or honeymoon
    Nostalgia is powerful — it reminds you why you started.

🧠 Mental & Emotional Reset

25. Go to therapy together — even when things are good
    Proactive counseling strengthens the foundation.
26. Make space for each other’s alone time
    Distance builds desire. Respecting independence is underrated.
27. Compliment them daily
    Not just “you look nice.” Be specific, and mean it.
28. Have a “no phone” hour every evening
    Presence is the ultimate turn-on.
29. Practice saying what you want
    Desire can be communicated — don’t assume they know.
30. Laugh. A lot.
    Watch comedies, tell bad jokes, be silly. Joy is glue in any relationship.

Love Needs Action, Not Just Intention

If your marriage feels a little quiet, it doesn’t mean it’s broken. Marriages don’t fall apart overnight — they fade without fuel. But just like a fire, it can blaze again with the right spark.

I’ve lived through lulls. I’ve also seen how a simple kiss, an honest conversation, or an unplanned night out can change everything. You don’t need to be perfect — you just need to be present.

So if you’re ready to spice up your marriage, start small. Pick one idea. Then another. Keep choosing each other — every day, in big and small ways.

Because the truth is, the best marriages aren’t the ones that never struggle. They’re the ones that keep fighting for connection.