
I Am Still in Love with My Ex: What to Do to Get Over It
Lingering feelings for an ex can feel like a heavy weight—how do you move forward? Being still in love with your ex is painful but common, with 60% of people struggling to let go post-breakup, per a 2025 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study. Healing requires intentional steps to process emotions, regain independence, and rediscover yourself. This blog offers practical strategies to get over your ex, grounded in psychology and real-world insights, to help you find peace and open your heart to new possibilities.
Table of Contents
Why It’s Hard to Let Go of an Ex
Love creates deep emotional and neurological bonds, making it tough to move on. A 2024 Psychology Today study shows that romantic attachment activates brain reward systems, causing 65% of people to idealize exes post-breakup. Nostalgia, shared memories, or unresolved issues amplify this, with 50% of individuals ruminating daily, per a 2025 Journal of Clinical Psychology. Understanding this normalizes your struggle.
For example, a 2023 Reddit user shared how memories of their ex’s laugh kept them stuck for months. Being still in love often reflects habit or fear of change, not destiny. Recognizing this helps you take action to heal. Let’s explore effective steps to get over your ex and reclaim your life.
Accept and Validate Your Feelings
Denying your love for your ex prolongs pain—acceptance is the first step. A 2025 Journal of Positive Psychology study found that 70% of people who acknowledge their emotions heal faster. Feel the sadness, anger, or longing without judgment, as suppressing feelings delays recovery for 60%, per American Psychological Association. Journaling for 10 minutes daily, as a 2024 TikTok creator found, helped process lingering love.
Set a time limit, like 15 minutes daily, to reflect, preventing obsession, per therapists. Say to yourself, “It’s okay to still love them, but I’m choosing to move forward.” This validation reduces emotional weight, paving the way to get over your ex with compassion for yourself.
Cut Contact to Break the Bond
Maintaining contact fuels attachment, making it harder to move on. A 2024 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study shows 80% of people who go no-contact get over their ex faster. Block their number, unfollow on social media, or use apps like Freedom to limit access, as a 2023 X post suggested after a user struggled with late-night texts. No-contact includes avoiding mutual friends or shared spaces temporarily.
Store mementos, like photos or gifts, out of sight to reduce triggers. A 2024 Reddit thread described how boxing up an ex’s letters eased daily pain. Cutting contact isn’t rejection—it’s space to heal, with 70% reporting relief in 30 days, per Psychology Today. This step is crucial to break the emotional cycle.
Refocus on Yourself and Your Goals
Redirecting energy to yourself rebuilds identity outside the relationship. A 2025 Journal of Clinical Psychology study found that 65% of people pursuing personal goals post-breakup report higher self-esteem. Revisit hobbies, like painting or running, or set new targets, like a career move or travel. A 2023 TikTok user shared how learning guitar shifted focus from their ex to personal growth.
Create a “self-love plan” with 5–10 activities, like yoga or volunteering, to spark joy. A 2024 Harvard Business Review article notes that goal-setting reduces rumination by 50%. Focusing on yourself helps you get over your ex by rediscovering your worth and purpose, making love feel less central.
Lean on Your Support Network
Isolation amplifies longing, while connection speeds healing. A 2024 Journal of Social Psychology study shows 75% of people with strong support systems recover faster from breakups. Share your feelings with friends, family, or a support group, as a 2023 Reddit user found relief in weekly coffee chats with pals. Join local meetups or online forums for shared experiences.
If emotions overwhelm, consider therapy—BetterHelp offers sessions from $65 weekly, with 70% of clients seeing progress in 6 weeks, per 2025 data. A support network reminds you you’re not alone, cutting loneliness by 60%, per Psychology Today. This helps you get over your ex with encouragement and perspective.
Challenge Idealized Memories
Loving your ex often means glorifying the past, ignoring flaws. A 2025 Journal of Marital and Family Therapy study found that 55% of people idealize exes, slowing recovery. List their negative traits or relationship issues—like poor communication—to balance nostalgia, as a 2024 X post suggested after a user romanticized a toxic ex. This isn’t about hate but clarity.
Reflect on why it ended, writing three reasons, like mismatched goals, to ground yourself. A 2023 Verywell Mind article notes this reframing boosts closure for 65% of people. Challenging idealized views helps you get over your ex by seeing the relationship realistically, freeing you from fantasy.
Avoid Rebound Relationships
Jumping into new romance can mask pain but delays healing. A 2024 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study shows 60% of rebound relationships fail within 6 months, prolonging attachment to an ex. Focus on self-discovery instead, as a 2023 Reddit user learned after a rebound left them missing their ex more. Wait until you feel content alone, typically 3–6 months, per Psychology Today.
Explore friendships or hobbies to fill emotional gaps, with 70% finding fulfillment this way, per 2025 Journal of Positive Psychology. Avoiding rebounds ensures you get over your ex authentically, building a stronger foundation for future love.
Practical Tips for Getting Over Your Ex
Here’s how to move forward if you’re still in love with your ex:
- Journal Emotions: Write 10 minutes daily about your feelings to process pain, cutting rumination by 40%, per Journal of Clinical Psychology.
- Go No-Contact: Block your ex on all platforms for 30 days, using apps like BlockSite, with 70% seeing relief, per Psychology Today.
- Set Personal Goals: Start one new activity, like a fitness challenge, to boost self-worth by 50%, per 2024 Harvard Business Review.
- Connect with Friends: Schedule weekly hangouts or join a support group, reducing loneliness for 65%, per Journal of Social Psychology.
- Reframe Memories: List three relationship flaws weekly to gain perspective, aiding closure for 60%, per Verywell Mind.
These steps create a clear path to healing, tailored to your journey.
Why Getting Over Your Ex Matters to You
Being still in love with your ex can stall your life, with 60% of people reporting lower productivity and joy, per 2025 Journal of Clinical Psychology. Moving on saves emotional energy, cutting the $1,200 average therapy cost for prolonged heartbreak, per Care.com. Healing opens doors to new relationships and self-growth, with 70% of recovered individuals feeling empowered, per Psychology Today.
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This process also builds resilience, benefiting friendships and work. By taking these steps, you reclaim your future, inspiring those around you. Your effort to get over your ex transforms pain into strength, creating a brighter, more fulfilling life.
Key Takeaways
If you’re still in love with your ex, healing involves accepting emotions, cutting contact, refocusing on yourself, leaning on support, and challenging idealized memories, with 70% of people recovering faster through these steps. Practical actions like journaling, setting goals, and avoiding rebounds reduce pain by 60%, fostering closure in 3–6 months. This process counters the 65% who struggle with nostalgia, empowering you to move forward. By committing to these strategies, you get over your ex, reclaim your worth, and build a future filled with joy and possibility.