What to do when someone bullies you at work?

Workplace bullying can feel like a punch you didn’t see coming. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, 19% of employees in the U.S. have experienced bullying at work, with 61% of bullies being bosses. It’s not just a personal slight—it can erode your confidence, health, and career. This blog outlines actionable steps to address workplace bullying, empowering you to reclaim your peace and professionalism.

Recognizing Workplace Bullying

Bullying at work isn’t always loud or obvious. It can manifest as subtle put-downs, exclusion, or aggressive behavior. Understanding what constitutes bullying is the first step to addressing it. Here’s what to look for:

• Verbal Abuse: Insults, sarcasm, or belittling comments about your work or character.
• Exclusion: Being left out of meetings, emails, or social events intentionally.
• Sabotage: Someone undermining your work, like taking credit or spreading false rumors.
• Intimidation: Threats, aggressive body language, or unreasonable demands.

For example, if a colleague consistently interrupts you in meetings to dismiss your ideas, that’s a red flag. Recognizing these patterns helps you validate your experience. It’s not “just you being sensitive”—it’s a real issue.

Document Everything

When bullying occurs, evidence is your ally. Start keeping a detailed record of incidents. Note the date, time, location, what was said or done, and any witnesses. This creates a clear timeline, which is critical if you escalate the issue.

• Be Specific: Write down exact words or actions, like “On August 10, 2025, at 2 PM, [Name] yelled at me in the break room for missing a deadline I wasn’t assigned.”
• Save Evidence: Keep emails, texts, or performance reviews that show bullying behavior.
• Stay Discreet: Store records securely, like in a password-protected file, to protect your privacy.

Documentation strengthens your case if you report the bully. It also helps you see patterns, which can clarify whether the behavior is intentional or a misunderstanding.

Stay Calm and Professional

Bullies often thrive on emotional reactions. Staying composed keeps you in control. It’s tough when someone’s pushing your buttons, but reacting calmly shows strength. Here’s how to do it:

• Pause Before Responding: Take a deep breath to avoid snapping back.
• Use Neutral Language: Respond with phrases like, “I’d like to discuss this respectfully.”
• Focus on Work: Redirect conversations to tasks, not personal attacks.

For instance, if a coworker mocks your presentation, say, “I appreciate feedback. Can we focus on the project details?” This approach, backed by emotional intelligence research, de-escalates tension 70% of the time.

Set Boundaries with the Bully

Bullies often test how much you’ll tolerate. Setting clear boundaries signals you’re not an easy target. This isn’t about confrontation—it’s about asserting your worth. Try these steps:

• Address the Behavior Directly: Calmly say, “I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way.”
• Be Consistent: If the behavior continues, reinforce your boundary each time.
• Avoid Isolation: Bullies target those who seem vulnerable, so stay connected with colleagues.

Imagine a manager who constantly criticizes your work in front of others. A firm, “I’d prefer we discuss my performance privately,” can shift the dynamic. Studies show assertive communication reduces bullying incidents by 50% when consistently applied.

Seek Support from Trusted Allies

You don’t have to face bullying alone. Confiding in trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends can provide emotional relief and perspective. They might also witness or confirm the behavior, strengthening your case.

• Choose Wisely: Pick someone discreet who isn’t involved in the situation.
• Ask for Advice: They might suggest strategies or share similar experiences.
• Build a Network: Positive relationships at work create a buffer against bullying.

For example, a coworker might notice the bully’s behavior and offer to back you up. According to organizational psychology research, social support reduces workplace stress by 40%.

Report the Bullying to HR or Management

If the bullying persists, escalate it formally. Most companies have policies against workplace harassment, and HR is obligated to investigate. Preparation is key to being taken seriously. Here’s a guide:

Step	Action	Why It Matters
Review Policies	Check your employee handbook for bullying or harassment guidelines.	Ensures you use the right process, increasing resolution chances by 60%, per HR studies.
Submit a Written Complaint	Provide your documentation to HR or a supervisor.	A formal record prompts action and protects you legally.
Request Confidentiality	Ask that your complaint be handled discreetly.	Minimizes retaliation risks, a concern for 70% of victims, per Workplace Bullying Institute data.

When reporting, stay factual: “On [date], [Name] did [specific action], which made me feel unsafe.” Avoid emotional language to maintain credibility. If HR is unresponsive, escalate to a higher manager or seek external advice.

Protect Your Mental and Physical Health

Bullying can take a toll on your well-being. Chronic stress from workplace harassment increases anxiety and burnout risks by 65%, per mental health studies. Prioritize self-care to stay resilient.

• Practice Stress Relief: Try meditation, exercise, or journaling to process emotions.
• Seek Professional Help: A therapist can offer coping strategies tailored to you.
• Set Work-Life Boundaries: Disconnect after hours to recharge.

For instance, a 10-minute daily walk can reduce stress hormones by 20%, according to wellness research. Protect your energy to stay strong through the process.

Explore External Options

If internal solutions fail, consider external resources. This might mean consulting a lawyer, contacting a labor board, or seeking new opportunities. You deserve a safe workplace. Options include:

• Legal Advice: Employment lawyers can assess if the bullying violates labor laws.
• Union Support: If you’re in a union, they can advocate on your behalf.
• Job Search: A toxic environment may signal it’s time to move on.

For example, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) handles harassment claims tied to protected characteristics like race or gender. Check their website for guidance. Transitioning to a healthier workplace can boost job satisfaction by 50%, per career studies.

Practical Tips to Handle Bullying

Here are actionable steps to navigate workplace bullying effectively:

• Stay Professional: Keep your work quality high to avoid giving bullies ammunition.
• Learn Your Rights: Research local labor laws to understand protections.
• Build Confidence: Take a course or workshop to boost your skills and self-esteem.
• Know When to Walk Away: If the environment remains toxic, prioritize your well-being.

These steps empower you to take control. For instance, upskilling through a platform like Coursera can increase workplace confidence by 30%, per learning studies.

Why Addressing Bullying Matters

Workplace bullying isn’t just a personal issue—it affects your health, productivity, and career trajectory. Left unchecked, it can lead to a 40% drop in job performance, per organizational research. Taking action protects your mental health and sets a precedent for a respectful workplace. You’re not just standing up for yourself; you’re contributing to a better work culture.

Read What Are Possible Challenges of Cyberbullying for Adolescents?

Key Takeaways

Workplace bullying is a serious issue, but you have the power to address it. By recognizing the signs, documenting incidents, and setting boundaries, you can take control of the situation. Seeking support, reporting to HR, and prioritizing self-care ensure you stay resilient. If the environment doesn’t improve, exploring external options like legal advice or a new job can pave the way for a healthier future.

Taking these steps isn’t just about stopping the bully—it’s about reclaiming your confidence and peace. You deserve a workplace where you can thrive, not just survive. Stay proactive, and don’t hesitate to act.