5 Most Common Reasons for Divorce in the US

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s emotional, personal, and often heartbreaking.

When a marriage ends, people on the outside tend to ask, “What happened?” But the truth is, divorce rarely stems from just one thing. More often, it’s the slow build-up of unresolved issues and unmet needs that finally boil over.

I’ve spoken to friends, counseled couples, and read more divorce cases than I care to admit. If you’re wondering what really drives couples apart in the United States, this article will help break it down. We’re diving into the 5 most common reasons for divorce in the US—the real, unfiltered ones that people don’t always talk about.

Read our blog on top 5 reasons for divorce

Whether you’re in a struggling marriage or just trying to avoid the pitfalls, understanding these root causes can make all the difference.

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1. Lack of Communication

This is probably the most common reason for divorce I’ve heard again and again.

Without communication, even love can’t survive. When couples stop talking about their needs, frustrations, and dreams, resentment creeps in. Silence replaces honesty. Arguments replace connection.

In my own marriage, I’ve had to learn that it’s not about who’s right—it’s about staying connected. I’ve seen relationships fall apart because neither partner felt heard.

Some signs of this include:

• Withholding thoughts or emotions
• Talking over each other
• Avoiding difficult conversations
• Turning to others instead of each other

Poor communication leads to distance. And emotional distance almost always leads to the end.

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2. Infidelity and Betrayal

Cheating isn’t just physical—it’s emotional too.

Infidelity remains one of the top reasons for divorce in the US. When one partner steps outside the relationship—whether it’s a one-time mistake or a long-term affair—it breaks trust at the core.

I’ve listened to people who say, “It wasn’t even about the sex—it was the lies that killed me.”

In today’s digital age, infidelity is more complicated:

• Flirty texts
• Secret chats on social media
• Emotional affairs with coworkers

Sometimes, even if both partners want to reconcile, the wound is too deep. The emotional damage done by betrayal can take years to heal—and some marriages just don’t survive it.

100 Reasons Why Marriage Is a Bad Idea

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3. Financial Issues and Money Stress

Money problems can tear even the strongest love apart.

Arguments about spending, saving, debt, or hidden purchases often spiral into bigger issues like control, resentment, and even shame.

I once had a friend tell me she felt more like a roommate than a wife—because their financial stress consumed every conversation.

Some of the financial reasons couples divorce include:

• Mismatched financial goals
• One partner overspending or hiding debt
• Losing a job and not communicating openly
• Pressure from supporting extended family

In fact, a survey by Ramsey Solutions found money is the second leading cause of divorce, only behind infidelity. That says a lot.

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4. Growing Apart Over Time

You’d be surprised how many couples just… grow in different directions.

This one is subtle. There’s no big argument. No shocking betrayal. Just a gradual realization: We’re not the same people anymore.

I’ve heard people say things like:

“We were high school sweethearts, but we’ve changed.”
“We don’t laugh together anymore.”
“We want different things out of life.”

This is especially common in long-term marriages where kids, careers, and life responsibilities slowly chip away at the couple’s connection.

If partners don’t nurture their bond, it fades. Drifting apart is one of the most quiet yet powerful reasons for divorce in the US.

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5. Abuse or Toxic Behavior

Let’s not sugarcoat it—emotional, physical, and psychological abuse are devastating reasons for divorce.

Whether it’s controlling behavior, manipulation, gaslighting, or physical violence, abuse destroys trust, safety, and self-worth.

I’ve supported women (and men) who stayed for years thinking, “They’ll change.” But the cycle continues, and eventually, they break free.

No one should stay in a marriage where they feel afraid, worthless, or trapped. Abuse is never acceptable. And it remains one of the leading causes of divorce across all states in the US.

What These Divorce Reasons Really Mean

So what do these 5 most common reasons for divorce in the US tell us?

That marriages don’t fall apart overnight. They fracture over time—through neglect, pain, avoidance, or incompatibility. But also, that some things are preventable, and others aren’t.

• Communication can be rebuilt with effort.
• Financial stress can be managed with teamwork.
• Infidelity, while painful, can be healed by some.
• Growing apart might just mean it’s time to find new ways to reconnect.
• But abuse? That’s never something to tolerate.

Divorce is personal. It’s painful. But sometimes, it’s necessary. And understanding these common reasons doesn’t just help you avoid divorce—it helps you build a marriage that lasts.